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“I need to know when to withdraw from my helping mode,” Natalie told Maté as she continued to care for her abusive husband.

In one example, Maté tells the story of a MS patient he called Natalie.The situation can persist, with people giving and giving at the expense of their own well-being, until MS or other disease forces a reckoning.“My body says no to me frequently, and I keep going,” Natalie said.“Chronic stress is activation of the stress mechanisms over long periods of time when a person is exposed to stressors that cannot be escaped either because she does not recognize them or because she has no control over them,” Maté wrote.“We no longer sense what is happening in our bodies and cannot therefore act in self-preserving ways.” The same scenario shows up in his other patients: Barbara, a psychotherapist with MS whose symptoms started after she housed a sociopathic man, against better judgment, or Véronique, who kept her symptoms secret because she didn’t want to place an emotional burden on anyone else.

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